Wii-Tards.net : We Never Finish Anyth

Basically, this, times 100.

Now that the Wii’s getting some respectable games, I’ll have to start writing here again.

Dear Troll-Like Entities:

We know that in the PlayStation Move you think you’ve found a new source of endless LULZ. But allow me to point a few things out:

The Move is an add-on. In the history of console add-ons, not a single one has reached anywhere near the install base of its parent console. Even the most successful ones, such as the Sega CD or the Wii Balance Board, still have sold relatively few units in comparison to their parent machines, and for every one relative success story such as these, there are a hundred Jaguar CD’s, N64 Memory Expansion Modules, Sega 32X’s… the list goes on and on. Basically, if if didn’t come in the original package, forget it, most are not interested. Developers know this too, and no matter how hard Sony tries to push this, most if not all of them will come to the decision that the Move’s tiny install base does not justify the additional costs involved in supporting it. And even if they do, it will most likely be some kind of half-assed tacked-on control scheme, signifying nothing. Thus they make the prophecy of no one buying the addon a self-fulfilling one, as people look at the thing and, with justification, say, “Why bother? There’s no games for it.”

Or, for the “tl;dr” crowd: the PlayStation Move is meaningless in the grand scheme of things, and any effort spent in even disliking it is wasted.

Also: making fun of the Move by recycling the same jokes you’ve been making about the Wii’s motion controls for the last 4 years makes you look like a complete tool. I’m just sayin’.

So, I’ve been lamenting for a while that this site lacks purpose. No one seems to read it, or care what’s put on here. There are so many blogsites already writing about games, and it’s so easy for a small site like this one to get drowned out in the noise.

Then I saw something that brought things into a little better focus.

A little game came along called Battle Fantasia. It’s a ’2.5D’ fighter from Arc System Works, the folks who brought us the Guilty Gear series. It was ported from arcade machines to…some crap system, and then finally came out for us North Americans last week as a PlayStation Network download.

Initially I was wary of it, since it had no demo, and really the only true test of whether a game is worth buying is in the demo. So, I checked the aggregate review sites, like a good little consumer. Metacritic and Gamerankings both listed a pretty sad-looking 67% for this title. But, the developer and the appealing art style won me over, and I bought it anyway.

To my surprise, it was quite a lot of fun. The art’s definitely unique – the only thing one could compare it to would be the Final Fantasy Tactics series. The characters are all unique, appealing and well animated, and the battles are tough without feeling impossible. The story’s nicely detailed if a bit silly (but then all fighting game storylines are pretty ridiculous). Overall it felt like a very well-polished game, worth the $20 price. So what, I wondered, did these ‘professional reviewers’ know that I didn’t? Where were the flaws I couldn’t see?

I looked into the individual reviews on those sites and saw the same complaints leveled against it. Among various rather silly complaints, such as its small character roster (12 feels like plenty to me for a $20 game), and some even criticizing the presentation as too cute and too anime, as though no one should ever actually enjoy that sort of thing. Of all the complains leveled against it, “It’s too accessible” was the one that stuck out to me most, and that charge was repeated almost universally across the sites. “Too accessible.” “Focused on accessibility.” “Not hardcore.”

Since when was being accessible a negative thing? Accessibility is what software designers are supposed to strive for, isn’t it? It’s why Apple products sell well despite having less raw power than their competition… So someone tell me why a game, as another piece of software, should not be accessible? Do we really need a giant roster of characters each with their own lengthy and arcane movelists? Is the user interface of a game supposed to be some kind of Gordian Knot? A secret handshake to be done with the controller to ensure that only the most elite can enjoy it? I thought this hobby was about having fun…

And looking deeper, all of these reviewers to be saying the same things, parroting each other and crooning over the same favorites. Even the sites that claim to be outside the industry still pay homage to the same industry favorites. These ‘outsiders’ all look like they’re just trying to get in, like Uncle Tom trying to ingratiate himself to his master in the hopes of being allowed into the house. It’s one big disgusting circle-jerk, and of course always played to the 18-24 male demographic.

And, in resistance to that, I think I’ve found our purpose.

So, Battle Fantasia is worth it. It’s a lot of fun, its gameplay is unique in that it’s structured around timing and strategy rather than massive strings of complex combos, and its a definite pleasure to watch as well as to play.

As for the rest…yeah. Always support the little guys.

The new DSiLL is out, and it’s huge. Is it Xbox Hueg? As ostensibly portable consoles go, yea, it is.

Click here to find out all the details.

I love Castlevania.

Consume consume consume! Any Castlevania Konami spits out is ravenously being devoured by me, a crazed fan addicted by the slavernous addiction of leveling and platforming at the same time. Thus, I think I should share my view on this little piece of software.

Since it’s the first time in ages I made a review and my only one here was of Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin, I’ll do Order of Ecclesia now before starting with proper Wii games. (Here’s looking at you, Cursed Mountain.)

Did I mention I loooove Castlevania?