Wii-Tards.net : We Never Finish Anyth

Wii-tards. The name that the ‘other’ fanboys came up with to ridicule us is now our badge of pride. And now, the joke’s on them, as folks discover what we knew all along: There are actually more of us than anyone would have believed – not that anyone had bothered to count before.

We are not impressed with the latest. To us, the bigger and badder graphical engines are just there to put prettier faces on the same lifeless dolls we’ve been forced to play with for 11 years. We didn’t find them appealing then, and we only give them tacit acceptance now. Back then, when Sony declared the 2d sprite dead, many cheered, but we groaned. And it’s taken 10 long years for us to prove, largely through the handheld market, that no, sprites are not dead, and in fact a well-animated hand-drawn sprite has infinitely more character and artistic appeal than anything your super whiz-bang processor can render.

So no, color us unimpressed with the marginal graphic improvements provided in the latest hardware pissing contest. And we’re certainly not happy about the fact that we’re forced to buy all new TV’s in order to see those improvements. Beyond the graphics, what has really improved? You’ve got better engines, being used to play the same old games in the same old ways, rehashing the same old crap for at least another 5 years if not longer (depending on how long the life cycle of this generation of systems lasts). More and more of the ultra-realistic, ultra-violent, dark, dirty, ugly graphics. We find this objectionable not because of any moral high ground, but simply because it’s been done. It’s been done to death. Really, we get it. You’re dark, brooding and dangerous, and nobody’d better mess with you. What-the-fuck-ever.

We’re even less happy about the agendas that the bigger-name consoles are pushing along with them. The Xbox360 delivering Microsoft’s mantra of excessive DRM in every corner and every line of code, and the PlayStation3 serving as a wedge to drive Blu-Ray into homes. Yet another in a long line of Sony proprietary formats that no one wants or needs, or would adopt willingly. Anyone remember Betamax? Mini-Discs? ATRAC? Memory Sticks and UMD’s may still be able to claim to be in use, but they only work on Sony’s own products – pretty much like any other standard they’ve tried. Why should anyone but Sony bother supporting Memory Stick for example, when SD cards are cheaper and more universally used?

We are not the core market, the Males age 17-23, that Sony and Microsoft are so desperately trying to court and keep. But while those two are trying to keep their market in, that market desperately wants gaming to remain an exclusive club. Keeping the ‘noobs’ and ‘fags’ out. But we come from outside of this demographic. Some of us have kids of our own, but are more than happy to once again don the title of ‘gamer’ no matter how long ago we left it behind. We’re happy about this because someone out there is actually doing something fresh and new, while at the same time, bringing back the fond memories of what made us love gaming in the first place. Allowing us to share these things with others, letting those we care about see why this hobby was, and still is, so important to us, and so close to our hearts.

Nintendo was our youth. And now, they seem to be the only ones left that care about us. They’ve made their mistakes, and still do, but they’re also providing something to rekindle the awe and wonder and excitement that games used to fill us with. Simply put, the DS and Wii together make us excited, happy and hopeful for the future of gaming.

But enough of the abstract ideas. Why did we choose to make this site?

Mourning the death of creativity and journalistic integrity in the so-called “professional” gaming magazines and websites, we, like many others, decided to make our own. But we fill this space with a lot of silly crap too because it’s fun, and games are supposed to be all about fun. We play, we laugh, we curse; we live the way we would if only Real Life allowed us to.

So if you’re of the mind that games and the Internet are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS (TM), then probably you won’t enjoy your time here.

But for everyone else, welcome aboard.